Drunkphysician would like it to be know that Dr. Harvenstein is currently outdated with his information and is quoting advice from a governing body that is lobbied by General Mills, a major carbohydrate producer in this country. Drunkphysician would also like it to be known that food guide pyramids from Mediterranean countries have a much more balanced ratio of carbs, fats and proteins. Drunkphysician wants to assure you that following Dr. Harvenstein’s advice will surely advance you on your current path towards obesity and type II diabetis.
Drunkphysician had this to say to Dr. Harvenstein’s obvious hack of his blog space, “Get the fuck off my blog, Dr. jackass! I most certainly am not drunk, you fucking asshole?”
It’s entirely possible, though not probable, that drunkphysician would like to thank you for your attention to this matter..
This physician is obviously drunk! I’ve read through his earlier posts and it seems to me he did not stop drinking. That or he’s a moron. And who the hell is posting this misinformation for him. The author is also obviously a moron. My name is Dr. Phillip Harvenstein, MD. I have a masters in Nutrition as well and reading this blog has made me vomit in my mouth, figuratively. Let my break it down for you. Following USDA guidelines state carbohydrates be consumes to 60percent of diet, fat to 25percent of diet, and protein15percent of diet. That is max for protein. 63percent carbs and 12percent protein is actually ideal. 50percent my ass. These assholes are going to give their readers liver, kidney and prostate cancer with this misinformation. Who the fuck gave them a blog? -Dr. Phillip Harvenstein, MD,
Drunkphysician would like you to know the following information. Following this may help you to pursue the godlike body of drunkphysician. Drunkphysician would also like to assure to that although attaining a body of his caliber is utterly impossible you will most certainly improve your current, disgusting example of a human specimen by following these tips. When beginning an exercise/nutrition program there is one important rule to remember. We are making a lifestyle change to achieve a healthier body. Fad diets and short lived/gimmick exercise programs may elicit results in a short period of time but when discontinued the body will return to its former unhealthy state. Everything we eat and do effects our bodies hormones. When we design nutrition and exercise programs we are essentially manipulating hormonal responses to achieve our desired goals. That said let’s go over some basic nutrition facts. We break down nutrition into two catagories: macro nutrients and micro nutrients. Micro nutrients are vitamins and minerals. Through a consumption of a variety of foods(proteins, fruits, vegetables) and the addition of a daily multi vitamin we shouldn’t have an issue with micro nutrient insufficiency. That said we’ll forget about micro nutrients for now. Macro nutrients are typically subdivided into 4 nutrients: protein, carbohydrates, fats and water. Here’s the caloric breakdown for these: Proteins have 4 calories per gram Carbohydrates have 4 calories per gram and are digested the most rapidly Fats have 9 calories per gram and are digested very slowly. Water has no caloric value but is extremely essential to the body’s functions especially in active individuals. We haven’t heard from alcohol yet, which we don’t really think of as a nutrient. Alcohol has 7 calories per gram. Alcohol acts like a sugar in the body and is typically stored as fat for later use as energy. That’s the alcohol itself, not including any carbohydrates included in wine, beer, or drink mixes. Over consumption of any macro nutrient will cause body fat storage. When constructing a nutrition program we are primarily concerned with the hormone insulin. Insulin is used to control blood sugar in the body. When blood sugar elevates rapidly insulin is released to remove the sugars(and other nutrients available) from the blood stream and transport them to the cells of the body. Two things can happen here. If our cells are greatly in need of nutrients(i.e. Post exercise) our muscle fibers will utilize the nutrients. If our cells aren’t in need of nutrients immediately(I.e. at work, being a couch potato, sedentary activity) our body has to put the nutrients from the blood stream somewhere and will store them as body fat for use later. There are several ways to maintain even blood sugar levels. Eating small meals frequently and evenly spaced throughout the day is one way and will allow your body to utilize all the nutrients without storing any as fat. There shouldn’t be more than 3.5 hours between meals/snacks. Eating high fiber foods(unrefined starch, veggies, fruits) and healthy fats(olive oil, fish oils, nuts, seeds)helps to regulate digestion allowing for better nutrient uptake and even blood sugar levels. Eating carbohydrates with fats and proteins is another way. Remember that carbohydrates digest more rapidly than the other macro nutrients and can elicit a blood sugar spike when eaten by themselves. Refined foods such as sugar, white rice, white bread, instant oats, are stripped of their micro nutrients and fiber and are essentially partially digested. This allows for rapid nutrient uptake and will cause a blood sugar spike. Sugary foods can actually do more harm in our bodies than foods high in fat. The trick with fats is eating very small quantities since they do carry 9 calories per gram. Lastly, eating immediately upon waking will start your metabolism. Our hormonal responses to food are essentially safe guarding us from starvation. Balanced blood sugar levels let’s our body know that food is readily available and nutrients don’t need to be stored as fat for later. Many people think we should not eat at night. The theory behind this is that our body will store the nutrients since we don’t need them to rest. Many times you’ll hear “4 hours before bed” or “not after 8pm.” There is some merit to this. If we eat a large, high caloric meal with starch and fats then yes, many of those calories will be stored as fat for use later. If we eat a small meal of vegetables and lean protein then the body will actually utilize the nutrients and eating a meal like high in fiber(veggies) before bed can actually increase metabolism during sleep(wait, burning calories in your sleep?). So, how much should we eat? Protein should comprise 30-50% of your diet(to maintain lean muscle) with carbs and fat equally sharing the remaining 50-70%. 64 ounces or more water a day is recommended. Depending on our goals we either want to be in a calorie deficit(fat loss) or a calorie surplus(muscle building). This means intake is either less than or greater than the your body’s energy requirements. A calorie counting app on your smart phone can help you with determining how many calories you need. Women should never consume less than 1200 per day and men should never consume less than 1800 per day. We want to eat at least 5 times a day and calories per serving shouldn’t vary too much meal to meal. So if a female is planning on consuming 1500cals in 5 meals each meal should be around 300 cals. Starch(oats, brown rice,etc.) should be consumed in the morning or early afternoon only as our bodies won’t need them in the evening and they’ll end up getting stored as fat. For weight loss they aren’t even needed. I’ve had great success with weight loss eating only fruits, lean protein and a large amount of vegetables. Once or twice a week we want to allow ourselves a cheat meal so we don’t get bored with our nutrition regiment. This should be the only time alcohol is consumed. Keep a diet journal for accountability.
April is beginning. For the next two months drunkphysician will begin to act more like “sober, arrogant trainer.” This isn’t to say drunkphysician isn’t arrogant, he most certainly is that, but more a proclamation of a renewed selective sobriety and focus on exercise and nutrition. There will be drinking, again selective, and times when drunkphysician rears his arrogant head to ridicule all those beneath his intellectual prowess and belittle those above it. “Why the change?” You ask. Drunkphysician, in all his arrogance, may be seen on any summer’s day strutting through city, beach or wooded area sans shirt(sans anything for that matter). Drunkphysician revels in running through heavy populated areas, muscles rippling with sweat, and shouting affirmations of his excellence. Again, “why does he do this?” You ponder. Drunkphysician, in all his vanity, loves nothing more than to sexually excite, or so he has convinced himself, strange and familiar women(and men while we’re at it) with his ripped, jacked, vascular, striated, superior, natural body. Thus, drinking slowed, drunkphysician’s ramblings will be more focused on exercise, nutrition and the occasional recipe. Have no fear in this new change as drunkphysician will most certainly announce when he has consumed copious quantities of alcohol and will charm you with his witty, whimsical ramblings about “God knows what(he/she/it doesn’t actually know what the idiot is talking about).” “When will the excessive drinking return to it’s former excessive status?” You ask. “In July, you mother fucker!” Replies drunkphysician. Now wasn’t that nice of drunk physician to personally answer that question? I’m sure(not really) that he would like to extend his thanks and gratitude for your attention to this matter and appreciates(actually he probably doesn’t) your patience with his reduced alcoholism. Until next time, friends…